Man can life as a couple can be rough. Why wasn’t there a couples/marriage manual to tell me that it’s work to be in a relationship/marriage or maybe someone said something about that but I blew it off??? A relationship can be a tough gig, but most likely you went into the relationship/marriage with the intention that you can work through anything and/or you don’t have big issues so it will be fine. Eventually you started to notice that you have disagreements/fights/arguments that weren’t getting resolved. You started to find yourself distant from your significant other. You start to find that you leading separate lives, but maybe things seem just to being going with the flow so things are ok. This continues on. Maybe kids are in the mix. Boy that puts a damper on time as just a couple. There’s little time to have a relationship right!! Like when are you ever going to be alone so it gets pushed off. Now you are working and running kids around. Maybe in this mix of life you work opposite shifts. This is great as it allows you to not have day care costs. This may allow for you to work and have the money you need to live. Maybe live without stress of money or live with just getting by. No matter where the money situation is, there are still issues/concerns in the relationship/marriage. Maybe you’ve been the partner/spouse who has tried over and over again to get help, to get the partner/spouse to go to counseling or even just to simply talk about the relationship/marriage. They just don’t listen do they? Do they even care? Do they even want to be in this relationship? Do they want the family to split up? What is going on with them? Maybe they don’t want to admit there is an issue? Maybe they really, really don’t see that there is an issue? Maybe they don’t feel they/we need help? Have you heard such things as “you are over reacting,” “you just have to stop being so moody,” “if you’d just work less,” “if you’d pay attention to me more,” “stop complaining and be content with what you have,” “if you would just communicate with me,” “you never talk to me,” and I could go on and on. Reality is, there is an issue if one person feels like the relationship/marriage is not in a good place. If one person is not happy/content in the relationship/marriage, then something needs to be addressed. If you are reading this, you are probably concerned about your relationship or trying to find a friend some help. It’s time to get some help and support!!
So back to the original statement/question about a manual on relationship/marriage. There are some guidelines that can be used to help you get back on track. There are ways to identify your differences in order to be aware of them so you can respect each other and understand each others behaviors better. There are communication techniques to help you have better, more understanding communication with your significant other/spouse. There are ways to help someone get past a stuck thought that is preventing the relationship from moving forward in a positive direction. Simply put, there are tools, tips, and techniques that help you identify what is at the root of the issue in your relationship/marriage.
Symptoms that you might experience that leads you to believe there is an issue in the relationship/marriage:
My approach to treatment: