“I can’t believe I’m going in for counseling. I need this, though. It will be helpful. I think.”

As I’m getting ready to log in to my appointment, ’m thinking, “Will this really help? I can deal with this, it’s not that bad.” Then I chuckle to myself – I’m like, “Wake up – it’s that bad; you need help; just get on the appointment.”

I keep telling myself why I need this and why I need to just see how it will go.  So many feelings. Feeling anxious, worried about what I'll be told.

As I get ready for the session, I think. “What is this going to be like? Is she going to judge me? I feel embarrassed that I can’t deal with what’s going on. Maybe I should just not show up? I don’t really need this, well, maybe I do; LOL. Yeah, I do need this.”

Then Tina says hello.  I’m wondering what Tina will ask me. Will she think I’m over-reacting? Will she judge me? Ugh, my stomach flips, I feel my heart racing. I tell myself to calm down and listen.

As we start the session, Tina validates how this can be an uncomfortable experience to talk about personal issues. I think, “She’s got that right!”

Tina talks about sessions needing to be open and honest for me to get the most out of the sessions. She tells me she wants it to feel laid back and comfortable and just to make it about having a conversation. I feel my shoulders relax.

As we continue, we start to talk about what my issues have been and go through the integrative assessment form. This form goes through both emotional struggles and the physical struggles I’ve been experiencing.

I really feel like we truly are looking at me as a whole person and all that can be caused by or feeding the messy emotions I’m struggling with. I think to myself, “Is it possible that I might be able to feel better?”

As we talk about the emotions and my current struggles with pain and digestive issues, Tina explains how the traumas and shocks I’ve experienced can be tied to my pain and digestive issues.

I can’t believe they can be connected.

Then I start to think about the timeline of my emotional struggles and when I started to experience digestive issues and the pain. “Whoa, this really makes a lot of sense now. Wow, I do feel glad I made this decision to come in. It’s all making more sense, and I feel like I do have a reason to be here; I’m not over-reacting.”

I think, “There is hope, and I’m not crazy!” We start to discuss the plan, and I finally feel like my life has a future with better health.

*Julia – fictitious name